Dib
by cgaussie
Summary: The basis of 'North' is transported into the realm of Invader Zim. When Dib gets enough of his family, he decides to get new ones. And some little green guy keeps following him, actually GIVING him advice without knowing it.
1. Intro

Dib  
  
By: Cartman's Girl  
  
Note: This is a big parody of the book 'North', now a movie. But course, they ruined the book with the film. But, so people no get confused, I'll go by the movie.  
  
~*~  
  
Dib was sure he was having a coronary. There was no doubt about that. He had this feeling many times before, but never this alarming and painful. When did this happen? When he was sat down to dinner with his father and sister. Course, who could tell the way the dinner was going?  
  
His father, world famous and very popular dramatic talking Professor Membrane was talking about cold fusion and how it would be used to conduct medial scientific thingies; and his lovely, not, sister Gaz was more interested in playing her GameSlave then listening to her Father babbling on.  
  
So, Dib was sat at a table where beeping, whizzing game sounds were louder then that of the droning of his ever talkative Father.  
  
He wasn't appreciated. He knew that. He had always been different to everyone in the world, even including his own family. He had top marks in school, but that didn't seem to matter at all to his Father, the only thing that mattered to his Father was that Dib keep out of his lab all together, which was hard for Dib to do since he had such an interest in the paranormal, he just had to use his Father's equipment.  
  
He tried being a good brother for his sister Gaz, but all that was in vain. She didn't care what he did, only if he didn't interrupt her precious GameSlave or take her pizza or soda. Heck, he could drop dead and not one of them would notice.  
  
But it seemed like he was going to drop dead now. Now clinging to his shirt, his breathing was getting worse. He swore his life flashed before his eyes before he fell out of his chair and landed on the floor with a THUNK.  
  
~*~  
  
But he wasn't having a coronary. Just another weird event taking place in Dib's life. Course, his Father and sister didn't even notice he was passed out, they had cleared the dishes and had left him on the ground like he had always been a fixture there.  
  
So, Dib went to his special spot. You know, that one place where it's so very important to one of us, yet it seemed so boring and idiotic to anyone else? Well, Dib had one of these places. And it wasn't in a cubby house, like some children. Or a theatre, or even a big leather chair in a store.  
  
It was the planetarium that was on the outskirts of town. Yes, a planetarium. One special seat in the middle rows in the very centre of the place was Dib's special spot. His Mother had taken him there a few times before she vanished, and from then on the place always seemed to be special for Dib.  
  
Pathetic isn't it? And that's where I found him that day I decided to see what humans had found in their constellations.  
  
"OooOOooo! Pretty!" GIR, my idiotic SIR declared as the lasers began flashing about. He was so easily amused, and yet so was Tallest Red who seemed to think lasers were so fascinating.  
  
"GIR! Quiet! I need to see what these pathetic stink-beasts represent the galaxy." I snapped at him, hitting him over the head with a pamphlet someone had passed me.  
  
"…Zim?" Dib's voice seemed to have sprung from nowhere, I quickly turned and saw him, a few rows away from me. Why hadn't I seen him there before? Oh yeah, GIR had been singing about stars when we entered, my attention must have been diverted.  
  
"Dib…" I snarled slightly, "What are YOU doing here?" I spat at him, turning in my chair to face him. I expected to see a sneer on his face, but instead, he looked pretty calm and collected. Not the usual paranoid little jerk I'd always known since I landed on Earth.  
  
"Breathing, what are you doing here?" he replied, kicking his feet up onto the chair in front of him and resting his overly sized head on the back of his seat.  
  
"That's none of your business, you stinky Pete!" I retort, and kicked GIR away who had began whimpering at a big blast which represented to so called 'Big Bang'.  
  
"Huh, fine. Whatever." Dib said, sounding somewhat bored around me. How dare he!  
  
"How dare you be bored around the great ZIM, you duffy.. thing!" I pointed my gloved finger at him, trying to stir him up. But nothing seemed to be working at all.  
  
"Hey Zim, can I ask you something?" I raised my would be eyebrow at him,  
  
"Depends on the question."  
  
"Have you ever felt unwanted?" Dib looked at me through his uncanny huge glasses. I chortled.  
  
"Unwanted? Me? The wondrous ZIM? Hah! You fool yourself for asking such a question to a divine being of greatness!" I replied modestly, but of course, I couldn't let him know about how quick the Tallest had banished me a while back. I didn't know they'd get so uppity about almost destroying their city.  
  
"Oh." Dib replied, and looked back up at the ceiling. But now I was intrigued by his questioning and hopped from my chair up one, now closer to the boy.  
  
"Why do you ask?" I asked, leaning forward a bit. He stared at me blankly.  
  
"Zim, you're the last person I want to tell my feelings to." Dib said.  
  
"Fine. Talk to… GIR!" I grabbed GIR by the ears and held him out to Dib, "Talk to GIR then! I won't listen, neither will he!"  
  
"Hi Dib!" GIR declared happily, and waved at the boy.  
  
I could tell by the look on his face he wanted to talk, so why not talk to an stupid robot?  
  
"GIR… my family just doesn't appreciate me. I do good in school, I try to be a good brother and what do I get? Nothing! I'm praised by other parents, 'Dib always gets A's!', 'Dib's room is always clean!' Dib Dib Dib Dib Dib! But does my own Father or sister notice this? No! They're so wrapped up in their own little worlds they don't even notice I exist! I passed out on the carpet yesterday and they did nothing! What do you think of THAT?" Dib now had his hands on the chair staring directly at GIR, who blinked.  
  
"I like cupcakes!" GIR declared happily. I then tossed GIR over my shoulder, he squealed as he did and landed somewhere, not that I care.  
  
"So, your family don't care eh?" I grinned evilly at him,  
  
"You said you wouldn't listen!" Dib cried in surprised alarm.  
  
"I lied. But from I see, they just don't care about you. So why should you stay with them? Why not just choose another mission and be transported to another troop and continue living there, AWAY from me. COME GIR! We have much to do!" I grabbed GIR by the collar once I had found him, and left the Planetarium.  
  
Little did I know what kind of impact I had left on the big headed boy known as Dib.  
  
To be continued!  
  
Ending Note: Yes, I know this is short, but it's just the opening! Bwa-ha- ha-haaaaa! 


	2. And So It Begins

And So It Begins  
  
By: Cartman's Girl  
  
Note: I don't own Zim characters, you know that. But I am a good friend of Jhonen, so yeah. I think that helps. A little.  
  
~*~  
  
I couldn't believe it! Zim had actually had a good idea, in my favour! Sure, he probably didn't know it, but what he said back in the Planetarium really stuck with me. What if I *could* change my family? Why, it's never been done before! I could find parents that actually, really did, truly love me! Really be proud of having a son named Dib!  
  
But I can't just leap into this idea head first, I'll have to check out Dad and Gaz first… but I need to tell someone…  
  
~*~  
  
"Fascinating! Dude, that is like the coolest thing I've ever heard!" M was more happy then I thought he would be when I explained the situation.  
  
"A child, a lone boy taking a stand against his family for not appreciating him for what he's worth! It's pure genius! The fliers, we gotta make fliers!" M, unknown to me up to this moment, was Editor of the Skool's News Paper, which had always done poorly. Maybe they should have printed some of my findings on Zim, then they'd get more interest.  
  
Anyway, back to this.  
  
"But I'm not sure if I want to do this yet." I explained as M began typing away on his computer. He stopped and looked at me.  
  
"You're right, you should think this over first. That would be the best thing to do. Search your options, then make your final decision. Smart all the way, aren't you Dib? Now go on, go figure out weather you want to go against your family and choose another, or stay with them and keep being ignored for all eternity."  
  
Before I knew it, M had shoved me out his door and slammed it behind him. Welp, I was gonna do what he asked. So, first thing I did was try to get contact of my Dad. Which is more harder then I thought. Previously encountering what one would had to go through to get on the show, this time I decided to try phoning his private office.  
  
A secretary answered, some blonde chick that had been hired a while back.  
  
"Professor Membrane's office, how can we help you?" came her ultra-perky voice from the other end of the phone.  
  
"Uh, yeah. Look it's Dib, is my Dad there?" I rung the phone chord with my finger, hoping against hope he was there.  
  
"Aww, I'm sorry little Dab. Membrane's currently working on a new experiment and has asked not to be disturbed by anyone or anything. I'm sorry, but I'll leave him a message if you want!"  
  
"…no, that's fine…" I sadly hung the phone up. I should have expected this, dashed by my own Father on the phone. So, all that was left was Gaz. It wasn't that hard to find her, just follow the sound of beeping. I eventually found her on the couch, feet up on it and playing her GameSlave.  
  
"Hey Gaz, I wanna-" I began, but she held a hand up to me to shush me.  
  
"Don't bother me now Dib, I'm up to level 20 and now I get to try out my new move." She snapped, the game giving off luminous rays of light on her face.  
  
"But Gaz, I-" I really wanted to talk to her about this, but then she paused the game and lifted her head to see me eye to eye. I could tell she wasn't happy.  
  
"Go." She sneered quietly. I sighed and left the room.  
  
Now with my mind made up, all I had to do was find M. But that didn't take too long, as I arrived at school the next day, for a change, Dad had decided to drive me and Gaz there, seemed the lab was malfunctioning and even Dad couldn't fix it, there were papers being handed out to children and parents as they passed. I then spotted M in the middle of it all, I ran up to him.  
  
"M, I've decided what I'm gonna-" but he cut me off by shoving a paper in my hands.  
  
"Already know Dib, already know."  
  
I looked at the paper, it had my face and the writing at the top, bold and centred read this.  
  
I'M OUTTA HERE.  
  
"But how did you know?" I looked at M who was handing out more papers.  
  
"I'm a journalist Dib. I know."  
  
Okay, word was out. But how was Dad and Gaz going to react? I didn't have to wait long. I soon handed the paper to the two of them, Gaz having one, Dad having one. Both read, and Dad actually passed out on the floor with a startled grunt, and Gaz soon followed suit, but an eerie grin plastered on her face.  
  
Then out of nowhere, news reporters ran in and shoved microphones into their faces.  
  
"How are you coping with the decision of your son and brother?"  
  
"How do you get your hair so shiny and silky smooth?"  
  
"How many batteries do you go through a day?"  
  
Word was out quicker then I expected. Soon a Lawyer had been assigned to me, and already the date of the hearing was to take place. And I hadn't even began school for the day! Then I saw him, Zim, arriving at school hopping off the bus.  
  
"What's going on?" he asked one of the class members, but I ran up to him, I felt I had to rub it in his face that I had succeeded from his ranting.  
  
"I'm outta here!" I declared, and shoved the paper into his hands. He read it over, and raised a would be eyebrow. "I decided I'm gonna find another family."  
  
"Well it's good to see you FINALLY got some good stuff into that big head of yours. Maybe NOW you'll be so rolled up in this stupid little agenda of yours that I'll finally be able to take control of this miserable planet! Laughs are on YOU Dib! Hahahahaha!" he laughed hysterically and walked off.  
  
But I wasn't bothered by him, knowing his luck he'd ruin toast if he ever attempt cooking. So obviously his own foils would ruin his chances when I'd be gone.  
  
Yup, today was the beginning of a great adventure for me. An adventure to find my new family.  
  
To be continued!  
  
Dah, short yes… sorry! 


End file.
